People On Drugs Do Some Messed Up Stuff

If you need a few reasons to stay as far away from drugs as possible, all of these horrible stories should pretty much do the trick. Some are a little graphic, so consider this your official warning before proceeding.

BATH SALTS: “Not for human consumption” is usually a trigger in the mind of an addict. It tells them that the product is indeed made for human consumption, and may even taste good. Bath salts are known to provide abusers with a gnarly high and vivid hallucinations. Here are a few other side effects, according to your local news.

Mustachioed Bath Salts Aficionado Breaks into Home and Puts Christmas Decorations Up

Terry Trent had a helping of bath salts one lonely October night in 2011 and, feeling a bit merry, he broke into a family home and adorned the it with Christmas decor. Armed with a pocket knife, he lit two candles and hung a wreath on the garage door.

The youngest in the family found Trent sitting on the living room couch, probably watching “The Santa Clause.” He was subsequently arrested and forever reputed as “that guy who got high on bath salts and put up Christmas decorations.”

Man High on Bath Salts Sodomizes and Murders Pygmy Goat

Neighbors suspected Mark Lucas Thompson of doing something to their beloved goat. The little critter had been missing for a while, but that was until they stumbled on Thompson and their dead pygmy goat in the same room.

Thompson was wearing women’s underwear, tripping on bath salts, with a semi and a porno mag next to him. They eventually found out Thompson had corn-holed the animal and killed it.

He was incited on petit larceny and animal cruelty. It should be acknowledged that the West Virginia Poison Control Center received 171 calls concerning bath salts between January 2011 and May 2011.

Man Gets Caught Drinking Hand Sanitizer in Grocery Store

Employees at a Kroger in Louisville, KY saw Bahad Mahmoud rummaging through the antiseptics aisle in June 2011. The 28-year-old was chugging hand sanitizer by the bottle. When police were called to the scene they found him screaming in the parking lot.

After an officer tased him, Mahmoud spit in the man’s face, which was presumably clean after drinking Germ-X. He was shit-housed on bath salts.

METH: Rock. Crystal. Biker’s coffee. There are many names for it. One thing’s for sure: It turns people into crusty psychopaths. While Jessie Pinkman personifies the cool and charismatic methhead, these people give methies a different image.

Couple Gets “Locked” in Closet for Two Days

Two lovebirds felt the fierce grip of meth in December of last year on the campus of Daytona State College. They believed something was following them, forcing them into a janitor’s closet and locking them in. Amber Campbell and John Arwood spent two whimsical nights together in the closet.

Police found feces and meth paraphernalia in the tight space. The door wasn’t even locked. Oh, young love.

Things Get Methy After Man Masturbates in Oregon Bar

Andrew Frey was feeling frisky one afternoon and busted out his genitals in a Salem, OR roadhouse. He began furiously masturbating. The owner banished him to the bathroom to finish the deed and police were called.

It took 15 officers to take him down. A taser didn’t work, and Frey beat off (lulz) the police until he was subdued. Even though he had no recollection of the day’s events, he was charged with public indecency, theft, and resisting arrest.

Okeechobee Man Attempts Exorcism on Son

“You are the demon, you are the demon. I know what I must do with you.”

Those were the words of Bryan Adams (not to be confused with “Everything I Do, I Do It For You” Bryan Adams). He stole his son from his estranged wife’s home at 3 a.m. in January 2014 and marched him to the woods to perform an exorcism on him … baked on meth. The wife heard the commotion and called the police.

When they arrived, Adams exhibited meth muscles the likes of Thor could only dream of. He had to be punched in the face multiple times to be stopped. This, like the majority of abnormal drug stories, took place in Florida.

PCP:The pros? You bench a little bit more. The cons? You tend to strip naked and act a fool. There’s are many reasons phenylcyclohexylpiperidine is called devil’s dust, and here are three of them.

Man Walks Into Police Station and Drops Deuce After Lighting a Doobie

Carlen Higgs needed an officer’s assistance at once! He walked into a Pennsylvania police department and demanded to speak to an officer. He then lit up a joint and casually waited.

The cops realized this wasn’t your usual citizen’s complaint and placed him in a holding cell. Higgs then unbuttoned his pants and took a dump on the floor. Ranting and raving, he picked up his poop and smeared it across the walls, perhaps doodling.

He was high on PCP and immediately charged with disorderly conduct, public drunkenness, weed possession, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Homeless Dude Exhibits “Herculean Strength” After Breaking into Venice Beach Home

Anyone from Los Angeles knows it isn’t uncommon to hear the hobo howl at eerie hours of the night in Venice. But one particular case from April 2014 stands out above the rest.

A bum broke into a woman’s home by leaping through a narrow window, cutting himself in the process, and wreaked havoc in a bathroom. He tore off two pedestal sinks, which the officers said required “Herculean strength.” They found him fighting with a shower curtain (that probably dissed him) and he spewed blood all over the premises.

It took six cops and EMTs to take him down. It took place at 4:30 in the morning, and the woman and her two children required therapy after suffering PTSD.

Man Accidentally Eats Son’s Eyes, Accidentally

It was an “accident.” Angelo Mendoza was hammered on PCP and lunged at his 4-year-old’s eyeballs and clamped down. He then fled to his yard in a wheelchair and began cutting of his legs with a pickaxe.

“My daddy ate my eyes,” the boy told police.

Mendoza was charged with a litany of offenses, including torture. Let this be a lesson – if you’re going to do PCP, don’t try to eat someone’s eyes.

ECSTASY: They say it makes sex better. They say it makes Ke$ha better. They say you become a douchey club kid if you do too much.

Woman Films Sex Tape and Achieves Ungodly Fame

She claims she was “out of it,” not knowing what she was doing while filming. In passionate throes of ecstasy with elderly boyfriend Rick Saloman, Paris Hilton went full night vision one night on the brink of her 20th birthday.

While no evidence suggests she was actually high on ecstasy during “1 Night in Paris,” circumstantial evidence certainly doesn’t suggest otherwise.