It’s true that most seniors don’t necessarily need to bathe as often due to their sensitive skin and relatively low activity levels, but semi-regular washing is crucial for their health and your sanity. Little or no attention to certain “hot spot” areas can contribute to urinary tract infections, and accumulated bodily oils, bacteria and dirt can cause rashes, irritaiton and skin diseases. Worst of all, a loved one’s odor can become unbearable and embarrassing for you and your family.
When it comes to bathing and showering, there is usually a deeper cause for a loved one’s refusal to wash up than just “not wanting to.” Bathrooms are notoriously slick and hard, so for a senior who is not steady on their feet or has trouble stepping into and out of the tub, the fear of falling can be a major contributor to their reluctance. Those who suffer from Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia may simply forget that they have not showered recently or they may be afraid of the sensory overload that falling water produces. Others may tire or experience shortness of breath easily. There are numerous potential causes, but there are practical and creative ways to minimize a senior’s fears and discomfort.
“If you’re caring for your spouse, try showering with them... coax them in and help them bathe, if needed. Use bathing items they like, such as favorite brands/smells/colors.” – NavLady
“For a period of time, we could only get Dad to shower if he was getting ready for church. My Dad never showered in the morning, so two or three times a week we would tell Dad that church was the next day. Most of the time that would work for getting him to shower. Is there an activity your loved one participates in that they will always (or almost always) shower for?” – Groundhog3
“I direct my mom to the bathroom and stand in the doorway so she cannot ‘escape.’ I verbally ask her to take her ‘night pants’ off and put them in the trash (she usually throws them in the toilet and I quickly retrieve them for the covered trash can). Then I ask her to take her nightie off and hand it to me. I ask her to get in the walk-in handicapped shower. Sometimes she will go right in... other times not... I stand at the doorway and tell her we need to get fresh so we can have breakfast, go outside, see our friends, etc. (anything that might interest her). I have stayed at the door up to 25 minutes one day! Patience is required as her language center is not working well, and neither is her concept of understanding. We get it done first thing in the morning (not early for us) as we've done it every day for 5 months. She is easier to encourage then.” – sonshineacres
“One idea we tried (and it worked) was to discuss going out to lunch/dinner. Dad would like the idea very much, but if he wanted to join us, he had to groom himself and definitely bathe. So, about once a week we would treat him to a meal at a diner, IHOP or another local restaurant. It doesn't have to be very expensive, and the change of scenery was nice too.” – mollydolly332
“My husband doesn't want to bathe. I shave him and wash his face, which he likes. If I can get him in the shower once a week, I feel good. He says he isn't doing anything to get dirty. I entice him by saying he hasn't gotten one in over a week. I get him to take the shower in the morning before he gets his clothes on. I also suggest that we take a shower together, and he likes that. He can wash himself and I do his back and put shampoo on his hair. By me being in the shower I can make sure he doesn't fall or burn himself with the water. He is away happy afterwards and usually rests, as it is exhausting for him.” –Isabella1
“When it came to bathing, I would just tell Mom that I needed her to take a bath when I was there to make sure she was clean. Even if she insisted she had already bathed, I would just tell her that in order for me to get the government assistance that we were receiving, I had to be sure she was bathing and she had to do it again so that I could be honest with them.” – neveralone
“Call the doctor and get an order for a bath aide to come to your house several times a week. This is what I did when my dad stopped bathing.” –Eyerishlass
“My mother-in-law, who has since passed at age 84, only took sponge baths for as many years as I knew her. (17 years?) She survived with it just fine. She was not excessively dirty or smelly, and though I thought it was not enough, it's actually better for you to not shower on a daily basis. My father-in-law with Alzheimer's takes an assisted full shower 2 times per week and that seems to work okay for him too. He's not out running marathons and we wet wipe his privates in between so no rashes or smells. I think you just have to do what's best in each circumstance and let go if preconceived vews on what we it should be, let go of unrealistic expectations and do our best for those we care for.” –Heidigreene
“Ask their MD to write an order for an occupational therapist (OT) who can come to the house and show them how to safely get in and out of the tub. You may have to add grab bars and a shower chair for his safety. –Pamstegma
“There have been some studies showing that Alzheimer’s and dementia patients have more fears about water and slipping and can get very emotional about bathing or getting bathed. A home health aide may be able to deal better with your loved one with this. That makes it less personal and your loved one might want to please the bather. I told my mom that she was helping this lady keep her job and take care of her kids because she was being paid to bathe her, and if she didn't do it, then she might lose her job. My mom wanted to help her bather then, and did all she could to be cooperative with the nice lady. My mother hated being cold and often did not want to bathe unless the bathroom was heated to the 90s.” –Caregiverto89
“Explaining before doing anything is very important. Be gentle, do not rush, communicate slowly and clearly, and try to make it a happy experience rather than a struggle. Have a favorite song on while attending to their personal needs.” – Sujjata
“Up here in the cold north, it's important to make sure the room is warm and there are plenty of towels to wrap up with afterwards. Put a heater in the room ahead of time, run the water in advance to make sure it's warm, have a safe spot to for them to sit, and use a shower hose to avoid spraying the face. Keep in mind that shower hoses let parts of the body get really cold, so be careful about that. In other words, do everything you can to make it a comfortable environment. Then insist. Promise something nice afterwards like a favorite snack.” – Sophe509
“Once or twice a week, my father was told that he was going to bathe. I would warm the house and set a towel on one of the vents so it would be warm. Then my mother would turn the water on in the walk-in shower so that it would be ready for him to step in. There was a shower seat inside, so she would help him in and then sit in the bathroom until he was finished. He always felt better after his bath, so the feeling was rewarding to him, I know.” – JessieBelle
“My Dad was very shy around his paid caregivers, but eventually that shyness slowly went away. It might take longer when the caregiver is a member of the family. I remember when one gal wanted my Dad to take shower and she said she would help him, Dad kept making excuses.... she put her hands on her hips and said matter a factually "I raised a house full of boys, there isn't anything I haven't seen". That got Dad laughing and he finally gave in :)” –freqflyer
“My mom was washed thoroughly by a home aide, and she said the aide was so quick and professional that she wasn't embarrassed.” –Danashel
“Start by giving them an anti-anxiety med one hour before bath time. Sit them in a shower chair with their robe and panties still on and wash their feet, then their arms. Talk softly to distract them and give them a washcloth or hand towel. As their clothing gets wet, they will want to take it off. Have another warm robe ready.” – pamstegma
“Elderly women don't like being exposed, they don't like being cold, and they don't like being bossed around in a condescending manner or treated as though they are half baked (even if they are at the time). Make sure the bathroom is warm and free of drafts. Have plenty of warm towels available and only uncover the part you are actually washing. Give the patient a wash cloth to wash the "front" of the genital area, then have them turn around and do a really good job right through from the back if needed. As each body part gets washed, dry and wrap in a warm towel. Only do small parts at a time, drying immediately. For example, only do one arm at a time, not the whole front of the body.” – Veronica91
“The only thing that worked was the threat of not joining us on a family outing. You can also buy body wipes for elders. These saved our noses if we could get Dad to use them. For shaving, we sometimes took him to a barber to get a luxurious hot shave; it was worth every penny!” – greenie
“Elderly folks are not as comfortable with change/people/ help. They may fear/balk when what they consider their routine/life/future/control may be drifting away. We bought my dad an electric razor and he sat in his own chair and shaved when he ‘wanted to.’ We just bragged on him and how wonderful he looked. We also had his favorite aftershave close by and told him he looked ready to go dancing. As far as bathing, we would tell him we were going to wash a load of clothes and needed to wash his outfit and he could change right back into it when his clothes were done. We also laid out a clean outfit or had him choose one before we got his shower ready. Then we took him into the bathroom to ‘exchange’ his clothes and left him to his privacy for his shower.” –Agingcare21
“I bathe my husband using Aloe Vesta cleansing foam, which is sometimes used in hospitals. It does not need rinsing and it may also be used to shampoo hair. I have found he is more cooperative if I give him his bath in stages over a couple days, rather than all at once. Whatever works!” –myami16
Getting Them to Change Clothes
“Let your loved one know the importance of being clean and be honest when they smell. You will be doing them a favor by being honest. It is better that you tell them than wait for everyone to start avoiding you or for them to start having urinary tract and skin infections.” –JessieBelle
“What I would do is I would go through Mom’s closet and pick out a new outfit almost every day. I would tell my mom, ‘I haven't seen you wear this in a while. Do you think it still fits? Would you try it on and let me know?’ It seemed weird at first telling her the same thing over and over, but she never realized what I was doing and she would change her clothes for me.” –neveralone
“My mom’s eyesight prevented her from really seeing how dirty her clothes got. And she couldn't deal with the physical aspect of doing her own laundry anymore, so she just hung stuff back up.” – Rainmom
“Pour yourself a large beverage at mealtime and ‘accidentally’ knock it over in their direction at the meal. Apologize and quickly shuffle them into the bathroom to clean them up, standing in the tub and whoops you soak them with the handheld shower head and now everything has to come off. Keep chattering apologies while you dry them off. – pamstegma
“When Mom still lived with me, I didn't give her a choice. I removed her dirties when she got ready for bed and laid out the next morning's clothes. I also turned off her TV and hid the remote until she completed her bath.” – Magdalena
Removing Stubborn Odors and Stains
“They make special products for cleaning urine that contain special enzymes, such as Urine-Kleen, or you can use something like Nature's Miracle that is sold in pet shops.” – vstefans
“Vinegar helps. I soak items in vinegar, take them out while wet, hang on a clothes line and hope for rain. Some things I can leave until nature removes the smell, but some I just keep washing.” – 1healthyangel
“I wash soiled items in the hottest water I can, soak them in oxygen plus and baking soda, and rinse with vinegar. It sometimes takes 2 to 3 washings, but the smells all come out. I then continue with baking soda and oxygen plus as needed.” – Carlen
“Iodine scrub will neutralize smells in one washing. Use about 1 Tbsp. in the washer. Usually iodine (one brand name is Betadine) wash is in the first aid section of just about any drug store. It's dark red and the advertised use is to clean wounds.” – pamstegma and sandwich42plus
“I use baking soda laundry detergent pods, add some Grapefruit juice in with it and wash on warm. It seems to take the smell out.” – Kenneth08
“In the facility where I work, the staff uses a product called Periwash to control the smell of urine. It works well.” – JackieMiller
“Borax and washing soda: 50/50 mix. Works every time for any kind of nasty odor. I use it on my Dad’s bedding every day.” –Katiekate
“When I was washing my Mom's clothes [she was in long-term care], the forums here recommended 20-Mule Team Borax which did help.” –freqflyer
“I have found that apple cider vinegar works better than white vinegar.” –BoovieD
“We use OdorBan, eucalyptus scent. The nursing home by us uses it. It works fabulously, you can get the spray one at Walmart, and the gallon size at Sam’s club. It smells wonderful and fresh. I put a half cup in the laundry and we spray it on the furniture and on Mom’s mattress. It is a deodorizer and disinfectant.” –Flmother
“Use non-bio laundry liquid. I used Morrisons brand and a tea cup of soda crystals. Then I put white vinegar in the fabric softener drawer, and hey ho! The smell has gone, much to my relief.” –SmellFree
Preventing Skin Irritation and Damage
“I like ConvaTec Aloe Vista Protective Ointment 3. It works great, creating a moisture barrier and protecting skin.” –judypanama
“Try old fashioned corn starch. I used it on my babies, and my husband used to get rashes on his thighs in summer from sweat. Corn starch will clear it fast.” –Sandra93
“Balmex!!! It’s available at most drug stores.” –somonago
“Find a 99% gel of Aloe Vera to put on the skin. It is natural, healing, cooling and non-toxic. I bought mine at Sprouts. I also use a great deal of Arnicare, which contains arnica montana. It’s a homeopathic cream which is great for bruises and healing itching skin. (You can buy this at Walmart.) Be sure to not scrub the skin with a washcloth, as it could tear the skin.” –ferris1
“Try Boudreau's butt paste. It can be found in most diaper rash/baby areas of stores. It's actually zinc oxide. It was recommended by one of the caregivers in the forum. It works wonders!!!!” –ramblinrosey
“Every time I take my mother to the restroom or change her diapers, I wipe her down with a damp cloth with baby oil on it. In the evening before I put her last diaper on before bed, I clean with the baby oil and then apply Vaseline on the top of the thigh areas and the buttocks. She has never had a rash or dry skin in the last 3 years.” –lifeexperiences
“I use Coloplast Sween Cream and Moisture Barrier Cream. It's a little pricy, but it is the best I've found. They also have one that's anti-fungal. I get it on Amazon.” –Bobbins
“In between showers, I rub down Mom’s body with Simple brand exfoliating wipes, followed by an all-over lube job with a nice oil such as argan. I especially like L'Oreal Age Perfect Glow Renewal because it's absorbed well and has a light scent. Then on Mom's calves and other especially dry spots, I massage in O'Keeffe's Working Hands cream.” –Gigi11
“I have found that Desitin or an equivalent works best to treat and prevent diaper rash. However, if a stage 1 or 2 pressure sore is present, use A&D ointment on that spot instead.” –mscoulter
“Medline Remedy lotions/creams. Medline Remedy Phytoplex Skin Protectant Paste or Remedy Olivamine Calazime are good for rashes caused by urine or stool. Also, the Remedy Olivine Skin Repair cream was recommended to me by the doctor at a wound care clinic to help my mom with skin tears. It is the best lotion I've ever used. Smells good too.” –teaka123
“Our home health nurse recommended Calmoseptine. It's an over-the-counter cream. It worked like a charm!” –Questioning
Oral Care
“I bought my mum an electric toothbrush, which she had never used before. I put the toothpaste on it, then get her to hold it and as she puts it to her mouth I quickly turn it on and she just moves it around her teeth. The movement encourages her, and I'm sure it does a way better job than if she were just using a manual toothbrush. It makes a sound after 2 minutes or so, and she has miraculously learnt that it means she's finished. I definitely have to prompt her to brush and set it all up, but at least she (or the toothbrush) is brushing her teeth and not me!” –Lucyboo
“We put her toothbrush out on the sink with just a little baking soda toothpaste and remind her nightly. She is agreeable, but if it wasn't out, she would be hard pressed to do it.” –celeste
“See if they will use a Water Pik or another type of water flosser. My husband has less problems using it than the toothbrush (I have to help with both). On a low setting, it works great to rinse out the excess food.” –mar126
“I work as a caregiver and specialize in caring for people with Alzheimer’s and dementia. One trick I use to get a client to brush, rinse, and floss is by bringing my own supplies and we do it together. This way I am demonstrating how to go through the process as well as encouraging, explaining and helping as needed. It can take a few tries to figure out the level of assistance needed, but usually they can cooperate and this helps encourage as much independence as possible. When their level changes, then I just assist more. But by then they are used to the routine and it’s usually easy to do for both of you.” –taxelson
“Try using a wash cloth as that used to be a method folks used when they could not afford toothpaste and toothbrushes (The Great Depression). Try a little mouth rinse like ACT to rinse out any food particles.” –ferris1
“Personally, I have found that trying to have my mom brush her teeth after bathing and dressing does not work, as she is already tired out from those activities and refuses to brush her teeth. Therefore, it seems to work out much better when I ask her if she wants to brush her teeth before bedtime. We have actually turned this into somewhat of a bedtime routine now along with washing her face. She also has an electric toothbrush, and I usually have to give her verbal cueing on how to turn it on and off. Sometimes I'll just go ahead and do it for her as well as applying the toothpaste, although at times she is able to do it herself. I usually stand right by her or nearby just to make sure she is doing okay as her balance and motor planning/sequencing is not good. Anyway, I also agree that using a toothpaste she likes rather than the children's toothpaste is a better idea, or using the baking soda instead.” –lmccarthy1
“Another thing you can try is getting their doctor or dentist to prescribe Peridex. It's an anti-microbial mouth rinse, usually used to prevent infection in people who have had an extraction or other mouth surgery. It will stain their teeth slightly, and I don't know about long-term use, but if their mouth is in really bad shape, for now, it's a lifeline.” – Christine73
“Drinking water helps when all else fails. Better to get your teeth flushed with water than a sugary drink, etc. I know of one kids’ song and I am sure there are more about brushing teeth that make it kind of fun. The auditory nerve goes to so many parts of the brain, so rhythmic music is very good for all of us. If your loved one has some favorite music, maybe you can pick out a two-minute version to listen to while brushing teeth.” –Freakedout
“Sometimes you just keep trying things until you find something that works. Try gentle reminders, saying 'you brush your teeth while we talk,' and different flavors of toothpaste. It's not always easy, but you do what you can. My dad wears dentures, so mouth care is easier. I brush his dentures for him, but that doesn't work as well if they have their natural teeth. –terryjack1
Bathing Tools and Products
“Why not just switch to no rinse shampoos and soap instead of insisting on a full bath? Hospitals use this option. It avoids the trauma of removing clothing, shivering in a bath or shower, and the danger of falling, none of which should be factors in staying clean.” –GardenArtist
“There are ‘sponge bath’ towelettes that are actually really large and can be warmed in the microwave and are gentler to sponge bathe with.” –Midkid58
“We put a chair in one of my grandma's showers, got a little hand-held shower head that hooked up to the faucets, and put a shower caddy down low where it could be reached so she could sit for the whole shower. She loved it! We did it as a surprise present for her. Oh, and also a sturdy little bench right outside shower for her to sit on while toweling off and getting clothes on. If you’re caring for a man, you might try some of the men's shower gels or scrubby deals to add to the ‘gift’ and entice him.” – New2this
“We found that baby wipes are too small. They make flushable adult wipes (found them in the adult diaper section) made for elderly skin that are much larger and work perfectly.” –pfontes16
“I notice that when I adjust our shower head to the rain flow feature, I take a much more relaxed shower. Without it, the water seems like it is beating down on me. The issue here is, because of my dementia, I don't remember each time to adjust the shower head to this setting. You may want to try using a gentler rain flow feature on the shower head. If yours doesn't have one, these shower heads can be found at Walmart or about anywhere from $20 up. I know I dread taking a shower most times because the water hits me like needles. I don't remember or realize about the rain feature until I get in there and sometimes happen to look up. My wife usually puts the shower head back on rain, when she is done, but she, too, is human and sometimes forgets. I can tell you this, it does make a huge difference to me when it comes to showering. It's the little things that all add up to make a huge difference.” –Rick Phelps
“I purchased a shampoo tray. They have plastic ones, but I opted for a vinyl inflatable one. Mom sits in a chair at the kitchen sink and I use the faucet sprayer. I have also used it having her sit on her shower chair outside the tub and using the handheld shower head. It works really well—just like being at the salon. I also purchased a vinyl drape.” –KDsMOM
“A good stopgap are the no-rinse shampoo caps you put (briefly) in the microwave. You then put them on the person like an ordinary shower hat, massage, remove, and dry the hair as normal. They're quite expensive for what they are, though, and I agree that it doesn't quite feel the same as doing the job properly. But my mother says she's happy, and her hair does feel nice and soft afterwards.” –Churchmouse
Comments
Post a Comment